A very sad thing happened to me. With only 5 days left of my precious campaign to bring my children’s songs into the world, I reached out to Amy Lupold Bair, an amazing woman, a former English teacher and mother who runs The Global Influence Network which connects bloggers, and has nearly 40,000 Twitter followers. I wrote her a letter, asking her to consider promoting my campaign a little among her network. Later in the day, I saw this tweet:
Just got this email: “We wish to introduce young children to Shakespeare…” Dude. Have they read Shakespeare?!?
— Amy Lupold Bair(@ResourcefulMom) June 15, 2012
So I thought if she just took a moment to see my beautiful daughter singing a song, she might have a change of heart.
@ResourcefulMom That was me Sorry about that. But I do want to introduce children to Shakespeare, and this is how: youtu.be/oISZ7Ryym8k
— Daeshin Kim (@DaeshinKim) June 16, 2012
But then I was dismayed to discover a retweet by Cindy Dyer, a homeschooling mother, a Christian, and a blogger:
Heh RT @ResourcefulMom: Just got this email: “We wish to introduce young children to Shakespeare…” Dude. Have they read Shakespeare?!?
— Cindy Dyer (@Getalonghome) June 15, 2012
And so I couldn’t help myself (and this part is totally my fault, I admit)…
I’m so sad to be mocked by strong women I truly respect like @ResourcefulMom & @Getalonghome – I did read some Shakespeare in college…
— Daeshin Kim (@DaeshinKim) June 16, 2012
Which is true. You can check my LinkedIn profile. I really did study Shakespeare. If either of these influential women had done a little research, this might not have had to become ugly, and public. Ugly and public is the last thing I wanted, so I just left it at that. But finally I received this:
@DaeshinKim No one mocked you. Please stop tweeting at us. Thanks. @Getalonghome
— Amy Lupold Bair(@ResourcefulMom) June 16, 2012
BREAKING NEWS. As I was writing this post, I saw this:
@Getalonghome Blocked him. That was creepy.
— Amy Lupold Bair(@ResourcefulMom) June 16, 2012
MORE BREAKING NEWS. Soon after this, my Twitter account was suspended, just when I need it most, to continue my sorry campaign…
Listen, I can see how, from your perspective, you think you were being mocked publicly. But the fact is, only TWO PEOPLE – you and Amy – would have known it was you if you hadn’t decided to go public with it. That was just a bad move on your part. You brought this on yourself.
Thank you for commenting, and I see your point of view too. I’ve given this some thought too. I’ve been marvelling about how public personalities deal with this – and in comparison, yes, I’m an amateur, and I am in awe of their courage – you can’t convince everybody that what you’re trying to do is something noble, something of value, and if someone disagrees or mocks you, you should try to be bigger than them, and let it be. I really am so passionate about my cause that I try to keep up with everything out there that has anything to do with Shakespeare or with young children’s education, whether it’s in the news or on Twitter – and maybe Amy’s tweet shouldn’t have come to my attention. But my reaction was an all-too human one, I believe. When someone that you respect, when someone more powerful than you has maybe misunderstood your intentions, you become desperate to change their mind. But I have only ever “tweeted at” Amy three times (two of them quoted above – the other one is here), and I’m not sure my treatment was warranted. Neither, I feel, was Amy’s use of the word “creepy” nor her subsequent tweets (“weird” and, to a friend of mine, her assertion that I was “tweeting strange things”). For my part, I have attempted a reconciliation, but I’m not hopeful any more for success after an email I received. I’m afraid I can’t share the contents here – I’m not sure from a legal standpoint, but my sense of ethics tells me that while Tweets are public, emails are private – as someone who has had a private email quoted in a public forum, I know how it feels, and I don’t think the email I received casts the sender in a very favourable light. Finally, I have only ever written 439 tweets, and I feel that anyone could attest to my gentlemanly conduct in every single one of them.
Here’s where I think this went horribly wrong: Public personality or not (I’m going to go with not as I just viewed her profile on Twitter and she is really only a business person), you made this public. The only thing she did was offer a public opinion of an email that she received from a potential client. (assuming that is you). That was all she did. Now personally I wouldn’t have tweeted anything that I received from a potential client out and maybe that was mistake on her part. However, you then had the option to let it be – You did not.
Understand that on social networks like Twitter, it can be very hard to convey a message in 140 characters. I do not know the full story here but if you continued contact to her or somehow tried to shame or guilt her (as I read her tweets and it seemed you did do so) then you are in the wrong. Social networking and social media works very different than traditional networking with potential partners. I read your tweets as well as hers and I don’t see her calling Shakespear creepy – this is where you read into what is meant in a tweet and give someone too much power and incidentally misconstrued as well as potentially inaccurate opinion. It’s dangerous to call someone out as you have done by publicly blasting her because while it’s meant to hurt her; it does little to instill faith in you as a legitimate and serious business person. As someone who works in media and communications, I would be very leery of working with you because what would happen if there were to be a misunderstanding between us? Would you publicly out me? Will you publicly out someone who doesn’t have as much passion in your project as you do or who makes a decision not to work with you?
I do wish you luck in your endeavor but I would advise that continuing to take your frustrations out on those who don’t see the same passion as you do with your work, will not get you far, nor will it win you partners and assistance with your business.
I believe you have the passion for your campaign but your way of handling setbacks or disappointments with others you wish to work with could use some tact and better decorum.
All the best to you.
As the owner and moderator of this website, I have the option of approving or disapproving of all comments, and perhaps it is a mistake to approve a comment from a source which is possibly less than legitimate, but I appreciate the time you’ve put into commenting and I approve of debate. Thank you for wishing me luck and I do appreciate your belief in my passion. And I agree with you that my inexperience may make potential collaborators “leery” and this is clearly something I should work on (I promise I will try). But I really do believe that I tried (in my own way) to use as much “tact” and “decorum” as possible in a situation where this “business person” expressed in a public forum an opinion on a “potential client” and quoted a personal email. I admit this surprised me. In future, I will take your advice and let it be. This is a huge learning experience for me, and I think that not only I, but also others, can learn truly valuable lessons from what has transpired. Thank you for your comment!
AMENDMENT: I have since been contacted personally by Brandi, and I would like to apologise for doubting the legitimacy of the source of the original comment. I do take every care in vetting incoming comments, and I approve them whenever possible, but Brandi, as an experienced professional in social media and marketing, has advised me not to assume things about others, and not only do I heartily agree, but I will make more of an effort to follow her advice in future!